“A gift in secret pacifies anger” Proverbs 21:14
When fights and misunderstandings happen, its easy to sulk and stay cross for a long time. It is physically not good for our bodies to stay in a state of anger for too long. Our bodies release a dread hormone called cortisol which attacks our immune system, which physically harms us.
Have you ever gone to bed angry with someone and woke up the next morning with a sore throat or with flu like symptoms? This is because you haven’t put a stop to the release of the anger hormone in your body. The whole night, excess cortisol is being released through your body because you went to bed without switching off the anger tap. “In your anger, do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your wrath” Ephesians 4:26
If two people fight, there is always a resistance to who should apologise first. Pride gets the better of us and tries to outlast the other person and whoever says sorry first indirectly admits defeat. The marathon sulk off does no one any good. Its okay if you are always saying sorry first, its a sign of maturity in love.
This verse reveals an effective method in resolving conflict. “A gift in secret pacifies anger.” If you have had a misunderstanding with your spouse or a friend, and you don’t quite know how to fix it, give them a GIFT. It doesn’t have to be an expensive gift, but a gift backed with love. Vengeance according to God is done by defeating evil with good. “If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat. And if he is thirsty, give him water to drink, For so you will heap coals of fire on his head, And the Lord will reward you” Proverbs 25:21-22
Surprise someone who may have hurt you with a GIFT. Don’t try to prove that you are right and they are wrong. Present the gift and announce that you care about the relationship more than whatever caused the fight. Once both of you have calmed down and are back on the same page, it is easier to talk about what hurt you and how you can move forward together.
“A GIFT in secret PACIFIES anger” Proverbs 21:14